Why I Like Working at Safeway

So maybe the pay isn't great and my feet get sore, but here are some reasons I like working at Safeway:

1. The small children. What can I say? They love me. I check out the candies and goodies that their parents are bribing them with and get to hand it straight to their eager hands. I'm pretty sure they think I'm the one giving it to them and they reward me with smiles, high fives, and licks of their lollipops.

2. The insider information on good deals. Milk, cereal, and pickles are all good deals this week and people think I'm cool because I know this.

3. The apples. Red, green, yellow....apples are smooth and round and shiny. I determine whether an order is good or not by the number of apples on the conveyor belt.

4. The uniforms. Black and gray. What's not to love? The black slims my hips and thighs and the gray offsets the black with a cheerful, yet subdued tone.

5. The commute. 10-15 minute walk, all the while talking on the phone. Sure beats Metro riding any day!

6. The gossip. I hear good gossip from total strangers every day AND get to keep up with all the celebrities as well by reading magazine covers all day. I could practically write a book on Sandra Bullock now.

7. The number retention. Ask me the code numbers for any item of produce and I can rattle off the four digit code in 1.6 seconds. I figure I have approximately 754 strings of numbers memorized now. I'm sure that this kind of skill will prove highly useful to me when I am a spy.

8. The cute guys. I not only get to ogle over them, but I also get to see what they buy.